Homecoming weekend is upon us and Maryland is asking fans to “Stripe the Stadium.”
Saturday marks Maryland’s homecoming game and this is even more exciting than Maryland homecoming games of yesteryear.
The Terrapins have a nominally beatable opponent in Purdue (unlike, say, Wisconsin last year) and a 3:30 kickoff time that allows for a reasonable amount of tailgating (whose idea was Homecoming 2014’s noon kickoff?).
The Terps are undefeated too, which always helps. It’ll be a fun day in College Park, folks.
Of course, homecoming is all about showing school spirit. To that end, Maryland is asking fans to “Stripe the Stadium” this weekend by alternating wearing red or white, depending on which section you’re seated in.
While noble, there’s plenty of room for improvement here.
Red and white are the colors of other Big Ten schools like Wisconsin and Indiana, so this promotion doesn’t feel like it’s exactly overflowing with school spirit. As a proud Terp, I have five suggestions for the next homecoming.
“Flag the Stadium”
Hey, Maryland, you’ve only got half of the Maryland flag’s colors there. Black and gold are good enough for the fight song, so they’re good enough for me. Yes, this was already done back in 2011 when Maryland opened the season (and the Randy Edsall Era) against Miami. It was beautiful, it was unique, and it should be given a second chance. Edsall took four years of my life and millions of dollars from Stefon Diggs. I won’t let him take this too.
“Dip the Stadium”
If we can’t bring crab dip to the concession stands, this is the next best thing. This one’s actually pretty easy, everyone gets crab dip-colored shirts. Maybe throw in some yellows and greens and browns for cheese and bacon and texture. We’re all already in a bowl anyway, so this is just a logical progression.
“Old Bay the Stadium”
Maryland’s chief contribution to spice cupboards is here to shake things up this football season. To pull this off, the crowd dresses in yellow, red, and blue, just like the can. Bonus: All fans are given a can of Old Bay upon entry, which they can shake (open) on third down. Shaking keys is so 2000-late. This will create a fine red mist from the upper decks, intimidating opponents and seasoning the lower bowl perfectly. Maybe some gets in the opposing QB’s eye. That’s a little thing called home field advantage.
“Confuse the Stadium”
We keep the “Stripe the Stadium” color motif, but spell 0-H-I-O in the stands in red. Cons: Not great for school spirit, definitely confusing. Pros: Maybe Dwayne Haskins stays, in-state recruitment goes way up.
“Cowabunga the Stadium”
Everyone dresses up as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. This one is actually surprisingly doable. In it’s simplest form, everyone wears green and puts blue painter’s tape around their eyes. That would technically make it “Leonardo the Stadium,” but that’s fine too.
More advanced TMNT costumes could include drawn-on abs or those backpacks shaped like shells. Unfortunately, nunchucks probably wouldn’t make it past security. In a perfect world, the entire crowd gets Testudo costumes and dresses as the turtles on top of that. Naturally, everyone would get free pizza as part of this promotion. This is my personal choice.
That’s all I’ve got. “Stripe the Stadium” is fine if you’re Wisconsin or Indiana, I guess. But for Maryland, the best damn school in the world, the bar should be higher.
Maryland Marketing Department, you can @ me.