Steve Blake is a solid back-up for my favorite basketball team, the Los Angeles Lakers. Thank you Maryland. Another Steve, this one with the last name Francis, comped my friends and I tickets to Rockets games and hung out with us in Houston earlier last decade. Thank you Maryland. Thank you even for Vernon Davis, the explosive tight end that I rode to fantasy league glory and a fat winner’s check last year. For all of the great athletes and people you’ve given us in the past I say thank you to the University of Maryland.
Now that the thank yous are out of the way I have to start with the apologies. As an LSU fan, I feel the need to send my deepest sentiments to those who follow the Terrapin football team. You see, while Tiger fans all across America are rejoicing in the fact that we’ve rid ourselves of Gary Crowton as Offensive Coordinator, we didn’t stop to think of the program his offensive philosophy would infect next.
And it so happens that it’s Maryland.
I’m so sorry. I’m sorry that the development of your quarterbacks will stop the moment they enter your program. I’m sorry that you’ll run drive killing, rage inducing option plays to the short side of the field with a bizarre and maddening frequency. I’m sorry that regression and error will be the words that your offense will come to be known for. You Maryland guys have put a lot of good vibes into the sports world, and it pains me that you’d have to go through what us LSU fans have gone through these past few years.
Word is you guys gave Crowton a slight raise. I cannot fathom why you would have done such a thing. Your new head coach Randy Edsall seems to be a stand up guy with a good head on his shoulders but his hiring of an offensive coordinator with a deteriorating sense of flow, game management and talent usage should probably raise a couple red flags with you fans. LSU was in the bottom portion of the FBS in offense this past year so Crowton getting a raise is sorta like making George W. Bush the president of the entire world.
There is some silver lining though. For one, Crowton is moving to a new conference. No disrespect to the ACC, but it’s possible that some of his antics might fly there. After all, he was great at Louisiana Tech, and pretty good at Oregon at first so the conference change could be good for him. Also, Maryland seems to have a pretty good offense in place with explosive players like Danny O’Brien, so it’s not as if Crowton is starting from scratch.
Still, I just wanted to take this time to apologize because in my heart of hearts I know it’s not going to work out. Maryland has a lot of triumphs to look back on though, and it’s important to remember those when it’s fourth and 35 from your own 1 yard line. During those times try to think about Juan Dixon. Fix your mind on Chris Wilcox. Concentrate on Joe Smith. Recall Shawne Merriman. Just whatever you do, don’t look at your offense.
This letter is Sicklemaster.com Approved.